It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I just threw up on my dentist
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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