My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
