Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
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...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
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The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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