there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize