Where are you?
In a non slutty way
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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