wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Randomize
