in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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