We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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