I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
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