She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
