Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
