have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
