She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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