You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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