I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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