i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
