you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
is it fun? or sober?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
