Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
