Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
