is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
