And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
