I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
