there were more penises there than on chat roulette
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
