At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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