I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
