Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
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