I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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