I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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