"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
