at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
