But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I currently don't understand fingers.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
