Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
