That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
