Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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