Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
If I die, sorry about rent.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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