He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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