; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
she smelled like a LAN party
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
