You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
