Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
