Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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