I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
