I just pynch a tree in the face
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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