i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Randomize
