So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
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