what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
