The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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