I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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