It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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