The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Life without a bra equals bliss.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
