I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
