The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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