How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize