I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
