GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
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Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize