come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
