I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
