Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
