Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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