There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize