Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
