either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
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I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
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I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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