he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
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Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
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IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I had to cum in my sink.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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